is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
