Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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