I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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