Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think i got beer on your cat.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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