I wanna passion pit in your ass
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
