On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This is classic penis vs brain.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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