i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
