Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
