Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
MIDGETS
????
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
