You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
