i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
