apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
