Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
