bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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