Tell her she can't have a vagina
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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