Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
