I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
