Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
