apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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