dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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