Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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