I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
