i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
