Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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