I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
