remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
