The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
