He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I deserve this hangover.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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