omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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