Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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