So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
