You just made me feel so damn special
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
