I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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