I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize