We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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