The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
