Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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