i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
