Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize