Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
