ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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