And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
