I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
