He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
