I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize