I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
