Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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