Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
