Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize