The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
