I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
