After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
