Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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