God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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