I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And then he peed in my hair
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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