chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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