sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
