did you get engaged???
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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