I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pants are for mortals
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
