I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
