Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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