How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
