I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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