just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
