Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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