i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
