Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
