Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
