I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
