How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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