I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
