Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
