question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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