His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he thought i was a dude.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
