Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize