thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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