Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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