I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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