Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
