We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize