come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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